Communicating...you know, giving him "the bird".

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Sibling rivalries aren't new, and they're certainly not new to sports.

• Peyton vs. Eli (Manning)

• Serena vs. Venus (Williams)

• Aaron vs. Austin (Nola)

Still, while the staff at the SuperPool recognizes the athletic greatness of the Kelce family, writing a story about the Kelce brothers is predictable and boring. As ChatGPT puts it:

Jason and Travis Kelce are brothers who are both professional American football players. Jason Kelce is a center for the Philadelphia Eagles of the National Football League (NFL), while Travis Kelce is a tight end for the Kansas City Chiefs. Jason has been with the Eagles since 2011 and is a six-time Pro Bowler, while Travis joined the Chiefs in 2013 and is a six-time Pro Bowler and a two-time first-team All-Pro selection. Both brothers have been key contributors to their respective teams and are considered among the best at their positions in the NFL.

A+ to ChatGPT, but this is the stuff of school essays.

Where's the drama and hate? Where's the anger and retribution? At a minimum, how about a good atomic wedgie story?

Here at the SuperPool, we're more Sopranos than Sesame Street, so here's our Top 5 sibling rivalries, along with some fun facts you might not know (and might not be true.)

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5. Cain and Able

The OGs of sibling rivals. Does it get any more savage than killing your bro? If you are not familiar with this story, Cain grew tired of how lazy a shepherd Able had become since Cain always had to pick up his slack. Cain snapped one day and bludgeoned Able with a sheep. To this day, saying someone is "unAble" is used to describe a person lacking the skill, means, or opportunity to do something.

That's probably not true and you might want to confirm before repeating it.

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4. John and Will Kellogg

John was eight years older than brother, Will. As a doctor, John was obsessed with personal well-being and was determined to ensure all Americans ate a whole-grain diet. However, after John perfected "Corn Flakes", "Raisin Bran", and "Rice Crispies", Will realized a tastier opportunity and quickly created "Frosted Flakes", "Froot Loops", and "Apple Jacks". Will's new company, "Kelloggs" was born and became hugely successful - - crushing John and dashing his dreams of a universal healthy breakfast for all. John lived his final years hungry and isolated, but with regular bowel movements.

Clearly, this is a load of crap.

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3. Rudolph and Adolph Dassler

The Dassler brothers established two of the world’s most famous brands after running their family shoe business for 25 years. They were very successful and even managed to persuade legendary US sprinter Jesse Owens to wear their shoes at the Olympic Games. But, by the 1930s, tensions were running high. According to some versions of the tale, the handsome Rudolph had an affair with his plain-looking brother’s wife, and the two could no longer work together. After going their separate ways, Rudolph created Puma. Adolph, on the other hand, was wifeless and alone. Left only to dream about his former wife, Adolph named his company Adidas.

Now this one I'd like to believe.

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2. Jeanie and Ferris Bueller

Jeanie Bueller spends the entire movie trying to bring her younger, truant brother to justice. In her attempt to prove that her "sick" brother is faking, she even ditches school herself. Inexplicably to most, Jeannie ends up covering for Ferris at the end of the movie just as he is about to get caught. Many feel her decision to protect Ferris was the result of an earlier scene in which she meets an unnamed delinquent in the police station who advises her to spend less time worrying about Ferris and more time thinking of herself. What many don't know, though, is that Ferris had the goods on Jennie and he was blackmailing her. He knew Jennie was spending way more time Dirty Dancing with Johnny Castle (Patrick Swayze) than anyone knew. In fact, the iconic line, "Nobody puts Baby in the corner" is actually misheard. The real line is, "That's Jeannie's baby in the corner."

Watch the movie. It's true.

 

1. Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!

'Nuff said.