Word of the Day: Hackneyed
Hackneyed: Overused, Unoriginal, Trite
The SuperPool prides itself on originality and is disgusted by lazy, unimaginative themes. Look, we get it: Taylor Swift is an icon, so including her in your SuperBowl coverage makes you feel hip.
For example, remember the Hillsborough Schools Superintendent who created a punny video for students and parents warning them not to miss school because of the Taylor Swift concert? The video used the names of 27 Taylor Swift songs to communicate the message.
There's also been no shortage of Taylor Swift parody snow day announcements. I'll spare you these links, but feel free to Google at your peril.
Most recently, even the Embassy of Japan in the United States got into the act and addressed Taylor's travel using three of her song titles. How terribly original. Whoop-de-do. Look at me. I'm relevant. Pass me my Stanley, please, bestie.
This type of hackneyed dad-jokery is so cringe. It reeks of quarter-zip sweaters, Levis, and New Balance. And, if the SuperPool ever devolved into such banality, we'd ghost this pool like a basic drip from Kohls. No cap.
No, here at the SuperPool we're bussin'. We're fresh, lit, hype, phat, gnarly, and rad, We consistently eat. And our rizz is the bees knees. We'd never try to entertain you with obvious or cheap Taylor Swift references like these:
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What do the Dallas Cowboys and Taylor Swift's exes have in common?
They both have a long list of heartbreaks.
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What did the Lombardi SuperBowl Trophy say to the Dallas Cowboys?
We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together.
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What does every Dallas Cowboys season have in common with every Taylor Swift song?
It starts off promising at first, but you already know how it ends.
((Blech))
Guess what, Dallas Fans, you're not Out of the Woods of our shade yet, and before we create Bad Blood here, I Wish You Would remember the SuperPool has a lot of Blank Space to fill on our website. It takes Style to do what we do. Never in our Wildest Dreams did we think This Love for our silly little pool would last since is inception back in 1986, three years before Tay Tay's album 1989.
Come to think of it, all these T-Swizzle songs in red from her 1989 album fondly remind us of the Dallas Cowboys' 1-15 1989 season that contained the Bounty Bowls. You've tried for years, Cowboy fans, to Clean these from your memories, but you just can't Shake It Off.
((Gross))
Anyway, back to the Embassy of Japan and Taylor's travel to SuperBowl LVIII.
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She is going to leave Tokyo (where she has a concert) at about 10:30PM on Sunday night.
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She'll fly 12 hours to Las Vegas where the game is being played.
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She'll arrive in Las Vegas at the SuperBowl at 5:30PM...still on Sunday night, and actually five hours before she left?!?!?!
So she's gonna know all the 49ers plays because the game will have already been played in the future. She's going full Marty McFly on us to make sure the Chiefs win. As an aside, has anyone else noticed that "Dr. Emmett Brown" (better known as "Doc Brown", the character in Back to the Future who invented time travel) has 13 letters in his name (which is also Taylor Swift's favorite number?)
Talk about conspiracies. #Scripted #HelloMcFly
Query, though, with Taylor not owning the DeLorean Time Machine, the SuperPool wonders exactly how much cannabis she'll need to perform this Swiftian time-travel feat? I guess Taylor's gonna bake, bake, bake, bake, bake...
Sorry 'bout that one.
Enough of this nonsense. Let's get to business. Read the Rules Tab and then go to the Make Picks tab to get in on the SuperPool action.
Be sure to check back frequently during the game for real-time Answers and Standings.
Go Birds!